Bring back the rainbows!

I thought I was going to be awesome at this forever and I've kind of lost a little steam.  I seem to have a bit of a mental block with my workouts lately.  I do them but I'm just not putting as much into them as before.  I don't have the drive to just push myself harder, I don't sweat as much, and I seem to be able to just squeak out the bare minimum. 

Then there is the diet.  I am annoyed by the meal plans lately rather than excited.  She is still posting the most delicious looking meals, and I think that I'd like to make them... but then I read the ingredient list and think about how hard to find some of the ingredients might be or just that its a long list of ingredients and I'm instantly annoyed.  I ended up this week to just really simplify things.  I just made meals for my family and would eat whatever protein we were having plus a great big salad.  I think my lack of intensity in workouts combined with not eating quite as good as before could be why I'm not losing these last few pounds.  I've actually gained about a pound... ugh.  I realize this isn't that big of a deal and I'm sure I'll get back on track soon. 

I just wanted to share that this weightloss thing isn't always rainbows and butterflies!  I mean, I hope no one ever thinks its easy to lose weight.  It takes a lot of really hard work and determination!  I think that once you get your head into it and just really commit to it, it does feel easy.  But wow, times like these when I'm just not wanting to do it really suck.  I'm hoping to just power through this soon and find my groove again, I'm sure I will.

I wonder if part of the problem is that I'm in a bit of a happy rut with my body!  I honestly just love the way I look right now!  I can shop in any store I want!  I'm buying sizes that I haven't even glanced at in YEARS!  I also think that I'm enjoying my clothes right now.  For a while there I'd get so annoyed because I would buy myself a cute outfit and then "shrink" out of it before really getting to wear it much!  So now I'm actually wearing the same size long enough that I've accumulated a bit of a collection of outfits and I'm really really happy!  I am hoping that since I only have around 8 pounds left to lose that my size won't change and that instead my clothes will just fit a little smoother in the tummy area and thighs.  But I also am at a place where I wonder if I might end up wanting to lose just a little more than my original goal weight. 

I think that is a little depressing too, because if that's true... that to get a really slim, toned looking body I still need to lose say another 20ish pounds... then ugh... I still need to lose another 20 pounds!!!!  Well anyways, no need to think that far ahead now!  I'm finally close to hitting 150 pounds!  I feel pretty darn proud of the 80+ pounds I've lost so far!  I hope I soon jump back into a loving to workout, loving my mealplans mind set! 

I do have plans to do a 5k training program with a friend of mine at the gym very soon!  My hubby's work hours are finally slowing down a little so I can hopefully start getting to the gym again soon!  For me, getting to the gym last winter happened a little too late to curb my horrible winter blues that I am prone to experiencing.  So this year, we are putting it into action a little sooner.  I am starting to take a good vitamin D supplement, I am going to start going to the tanning beds for light therapy and of course the gym.... this will have the double benefit of getting me regular exercise as well as getting me out of the house to avoid 'cabin fever' in our bitter cold winter!

Clothes vs No clothes.

Life has gotten busy again and I haven't blogged in awhile.  I think my weightloss blogging is getting  dull.  I have nothing much new to report.  My weight is still coming off, I am 157 pounds as of this morning.  So 7 more pounds to reach my goal!!!  Pretty darn exciting!  I feel amazing with how things are going!  I think this is something I can easily keep doing!  Its just part of my life now.  I workout, I eat right.  I don't even enjoy the junk food to the same degree.  My hubby and I were discussing it and I said I used to think about food ALL THE TIME!  I would be plotting the next thing I was going to eat while I was eating!  It was obsessive!  Now I really don't think about food at all.  I know what I'm eating for the week and if anything I'm annoyed about food and often find myself wishing that I didn't HAVE to eat.  This is a huge change for me!  HUGE!  I really used food like a drug for quite a long time!  I can't believe that I actually weigh a little less than I did through high school!  I've lost a total of 83 pounds, which although phenominal, my poor body looks a little deflated.  I see loose saggy skin hanging off me in places.  So I love how I look in clothes, but I'm a little disappointed with how I look undressed.  But since my hubby loves the way I look, why should I care! 

Comparing All my "Diets"

Oh yes, I have a blog.  I keep forgetting!  So, on the weight loss journey.  Its still moving downward.  I don't have far to go!  It is a little frustrating to be so close to that goal I set so long ago but to be moving as fast as molasses uphill in January!  I started out Sept. 6 at 164.6 and ended Sept. 27 at 162.8  So I did lose in the end!  Only 1.8 pounds, but at least I didn't gain anything!   I'm down to that talked about "last 10 pounds"  well ALMOST!  haha.  As of this morning I weighed 161.4, so that is 11.4 pounds left.  I remember when I started running at the gym is January... weighing a massive 220 pounds and I lost a whopping 12 pounds or so that first month!  Now, close to the end of it all and I think I'll be lucky to lose this last 11.4 pounds by January!  (especially since I have Thanksgiving and Christmas in between!)  But, I don't mean to sound negative at all!  I actually need to immediately turn this into the biggest positive I can!  I FEEL GREAT!  Being this close to my goal means that every single time I get dressed, I am HAPPY with my reflection!  I look at the person standing there and I don't say "well, at least I have a pretty face" or "good thing my hair looks good today"  I look at ME from head to toe and say, "there is a beautiful, strong, healthy woman who is confident and happy!"  When I go to try on new clothes and fit into things that say "medium" in the tag.... or try on my teensy sister-in-laws leather jacket that has the word "small" in the tag and not only does it fit, but it looks GOOD.... I feel this sense of accomplishment that just hasn't completely sunk in yet.  I never plan on quitting Revolt by the way.  I see this as an awesome addition to my life.  It keeps me healthy, strong, confident and happy!  This isn't a "diet" its a way to live my life!

I want to make a huge comparison for you. 

CALORIE COUNTING     When I was dieting after having my boys, I was calorie counting.  I liked this and would call it "food budgeting" because I could eat anything I wanted so long as the numbers added up to whatever my magic number, decided by some online calorie calculator based on my height/weight/activity level, had told me to aim for.  I was always hungry.  I came to appreciate the hunger as a sign that I was losing weight.  When I would go to bed with a growling stomach I would think to myself  "I'm going to see a great number on that scale in the morning!"   I even started fasting every Monday.  To purge whatever weight I had gained over the weekend.  I would only drink around 500 calories.  Usually a couple protein shakes and a few energy drinks or coffee.  It always worked well and each time I did this calorie counting diet (twice) I would get down to around 185 pounds before getting pregnant again.   

EATING WELL AND EXERCISING   Before I started Revolt I decided to start the C25K running program with my awesome friend Sarah!  We were able to get to the gym 3 nights a week because my hubby's work hours slow down in the winter.  It was a fabulous start to exercising.  Any time I'd tried to do any workout videos I found them HARD.  The exercises were difficult, they were too fast paced, and I felt like I needed to have a degree in dance to follow the moves.  Running was dummy proof.  RUN FATTY RUN!  haha!   I didn't religiously count calories like I had in the past but simply tried to eat well and skip the junk.  I found that I quickly got into a food rut, eating the same thing every single day.  I lost 35 pounds, then hubby's work hours picked up so no gym for me.  I managed to maintain my loss by just eating well but I was stuck.  I was getting sick of my food and I wasn't losing weight.....

WWW.REVOLTNOWFITNESS.COM !!!!!    So about this time my wonderful sister-in-law Chelsea told me about this fitness thing she joined.  I protested.  I HATED workout videos and any meal plans I had seen had complicated recipes that made grocery shopping frustrating and EXPENSIVE.  I did not want to join up with this idea.  She convinced me finally to try the week free that is offered.  I figured, "why not".  I didn't have high hopes but gave it a go.  I was hooked by day 3!!!!  That's when I signed up for a year's subscription!  The exercises are just that... things like jumping jacks, push-ups and other SIMPLE movements that don't require fancy footwork or high speed routines!  I just needed to buy some equipment... which compared to the cost of most fitness programs or gym memberships, this was not an expensive endeavour.  As for the food, I love that rather than 1 week of 3 different recipes per day adding up to a whopping 18 NEW recipes with unfamiliar ingredients, we get 3 recipes for the whole week.  I can shop for that.  Since joining, I've had some things I hated and some I loved.  There is a huge list of acceptable substitutions so if you just HATE fish or tomatoes or whatever, sub it for something on the list!   I think the best part about the food is that I'm never hungry.  I'm always satisfied and happy with the meals I'm eating.  I eat more calories now at 161.4 pounds than I was living off of at 185 pounds!!!  Yes, that's right... because I've built up muscle, I can EAT MORE!!!!  Because my body is burning calories just being at rest because I'm so strong and AWESOME!   I'm seeing muscle definition and I'm even seeing some of my "loose skin" starting to tighten up little by little!  And let me tell you I'm still not even that good at these exercises!  I can still barely do a "girl" push-up, I struggle to squeeze 12 burpees out and my arms are quivering after 15 seconds of my 30 second plank!

I will admit that I'm increasingly tempted to drastically reduce my calories just to see these last few pounds come off.  It would be so exciting to quickly jump to that goal.  But, I keep reminding myself that at this point, why would I want to lose that lean mass?  Why would I want to get out of the good habits I've been instilling and most of all.... why would I want to live hungry again???  Besides, I'm actually pretty darn happy with how I look right now  :)  So I see no reason to make myself miserable!