Sanity?

I am always finding myself at the end of my rope... of patience.  I love my children so very much but there are times when I just find myself asking "what have I gotten myself into?"  I didn't have so much of a bad day yesterday but I'm finding myself wanting quiet time that rarely seems to happen around here. 
Getting all the kids to sleep in the evening is not like shutting off a switch, more like a process.  It begins so pleasantly with "ok time for bed!" *I'm still all smiles at this point*  I happily playfully take them through their bedtime routines of bath, pjs, teeth, potty, drink and then BED!!!!  Yippee for Mommy, its bedtime!!!  Orrrrrr....not.  I have four children.  Danielle is 7, Jack is 5, Wesley is 3 and Lacey is 20 months.  *insert some comment like...wow you really have your hands full*  Anyways, cue the parade of extra potty breaks, an unquenchable thirst and of course because the boys share a room and the girls share a room the "he wronged me in some horrible way and so I must scream at the top of my lungs to notify you of this wretched injustice!" 
This bedtime which spans anywhere from 2-3 hours from the moment I announce the commencement of the bedtime process is more stressful to me than any other part of my entire day!  I am a morning person by nature.  Hence, setting my alarm and rising at 5:30 to workout, drink coffee and blog :)  Is waking this early challenging?  Heck ya!  But I am calm, happy and sane *disclaimer: I make no guarantee of my actual sanity... I did have 4 kids* 
Last night, after they were tucked in bed, I told hubby that I was needing to get away for a bit and I drove to Wal-Mart to buy a new bathroom scale, food scale and whatever else fell into my cart :)  I told him to call me once the house was quiet.  Ahhh....shopping therapy, for me I don't even really need to spend anything.  I happily browsed clothes, jewelry, housewares.... everything!  No one was pulling things off shelves, hitting their sister or begging for candy...bliss.  I tried on a swimsuit in size Large and it JUST fit me.  I didn't buy it, cause I didn't love the print.... anyways...
Once I arrived home and checked facebook before bed I stumbled upon a family pic of mother and children playing together on a hotel luggage cart and the caption... oh wow, this struck me as so profound that I am going to read this each and every day....well I often exaggerate, I'll probably read it again today once I copy and paste it :)  So many good points and reminders to Moms to help keep their sanity.

 For the days we are running on empty. For the days we just don't think we have it in us to read one more story, play one more game of Uno, wash one more round of sheets. For the days when we think everyone else has it together. For the days we're sure anyone else would do this job better.

For those days. You know the ones.

Repeat after me:

1. I shall not judge my house, my kid's summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest's standards.

2. I shall not measure what I've accomplished today by the loads of unfolded laundry but by the assurance of deep love I've tickled into my kids.

3. I shall say yes to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we're building.

4. I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they're already in their pajamas.

5. I shall not compare myself to other mothers but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.

6. I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.

7. I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.

8. I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.

9. I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.

10. I shall promise to love this body that bore these children out loud, especially in front of my daughter.

11. I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.

12. I shall do my best to admit to my people my unfine moments.

13. I shall say sorry when sorry is necessary.

14. I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children's forgiveness.

15. I shall make space in my grown-up world for goofball moments with my kids.

16. I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.

17. I shall model kind words to kids and grown-ups alike.

18. I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.

19. I shall always make time to encourage new moms.

20. I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they'll all be in college.

... with love from one tired mother to another.